"Makeup should enhance your natural beauty, not obscure it. Use subtle highlights to accent the ravenous hunger in your eyes and bring out the extraordinary size of your submandibular venom glands."
"Your daily positive affirmation: today I am thankful for being alive and blessed with rows upon rows of teeth that shear right through muscle and bone."
"Conceal your dark circles. Conceal your bright chevrons and your dusky stripes. The humans must not suspect what you are."
"New research shows that ideal femininity encompasses a lamia’s beauty, a cyclops’ strength, a hydra’s deadliness, a Fury’s heartlessness, a harpy’s swiftness, and a sphinx’s love of feasting on less intelligent creatures. Be a chimera that cannot be contained!"
"Aim to be described as "inexplicably eerie," "unsettlingly off," and "I’m not sure what she looks like, I could never keep my eyes on her face long enough to see."— If you are not aware of the “Beauty by H.P. Lovecraft” Facebook page, you are missing the time of your life.
anime trope episodes: the beach episode, the festival episode, the episode where someone doesn’t know how to cook
western cartoon trope episodes: the episode where someone has several copies of themselves made, the episode where inanimate objects come to life, the episode that is a homage to a movie from the 1950s, the episode where someone is shrunk down to microscopic levels and placed inside the body of another person
MOVIE STAR: BRING ME MY PAIN TWIN
DIRECTOR: do you mean your stunt double
MOVIE STAR: BRING ME MY AGONY SHADOW WHO SUFFERS FOR ME—
“A Movie Star Names Things" - Mallory Ortberg
I actually literally can’t with this.